


Playing Pretend

by DannyisDone



Series: Sanders Sides Agere Oneshots [13]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Play Little Deceit | Janus Sanders, Age Regression, Age Regression/De-Aging, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Non-Sexual Age Play, Song fic, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29775957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DannyisDone/pseuds/DannyisDone
Summary: This story contains Age Regression and is NOT sexualBecause in the quiet of his lonely room, sometimes he could close his eyes and pretend that Patton was singing to him.+++Warnings: Hurt but no comfort, crying, let me know if more is needed
Series: Sanders Sides Agere Oneshots [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145819
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Playing Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> sorry it's sad but i am just a sad boi recently 
> 
> The song is "Good Night My Someone" from the The Music Man

“Goodnight my someone, goodnight my love.” 

Janus sat with his back against the wall, ears trained on the little lullaby being sung by Patton from the conscious side. He wasn’t sure how little secrets and soft whispers managed to find their way into his room, echoed by the silence, but he usually managed to ignore the lies and gossip that floated their way into his room. 

But this time, he couldn’t ignore it. Just like he couldn’t ignore it anytime one of Patton’s lullabies seemed to drift into his room. Sung softly and gently, with a wavery voice that revealed his lack of practice, but Janus didn’t care. He closed his eyes and listened to the melody. 

“Sleep tight my someone, sleep tight, my love.” 

Janus didn’t know who he was singing to, and he never dared to venture and found out. Because in the quiet of his lonely room, sometimes he could close his eyes and pretend that Patton was singing to him. That he was sitting beside him, rocking him gently. 

“Our star is shining its brightest light.” 

He knew it was selfish to want something like that. To wish on the stars that Patton sang about that someone would come sing to him, would rock him to sleep. To promise to be there in the morning for him. Not only was it selfish, it was a fantasy. But oh, was Janus so good at playing pretend. He closed his eyes and shifted closer to the wall. He just wanted to be cared for, to be loved by someone who would sing to him, and their voice would be so full of love, just the way Patton sang it to whichever lucky side he sang to. 

“Now goodnight, my love for goodnight.” 

Janus’s breathing hitched, and suddenly he was very aware of how small he felt. How the lump in his throat hurt, afraid that if he cried too loudly somehow it would stop the lullaby, and he would be left alone again. So he placed his hand over his mouth and tried to keep the miserable sobs that wanted to overwhelm him and remind him that he was alone, that he was playing pretend, that no one was coming to wish him goodnight. 

“Sweet dreams, be yours dear, if dreams there be.” 

He had managed to get himself down to pitiful whimpers. He knew it was silly, to cry over something that he could never have or hope to have. But it was hard. It was hard feeling so little but having to deal with the pain of loneliness, of feeling like the world turned its back on you and you weren’t even sure why. He pressed himself as close to the wall as he possibly could, and wondered how different it would feel if it was someone he was leaning on. 

Though he knew it wasn’t possible, he wished he would fall asleep right away, so he wouldn’t have to deal with the deafening silence that would follow as soon as the song ended, He knew he should crawl into bed, but this kept him close to the song, and he would do anything at this point to be close to the song. 

“Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.” 

Janus ended up laying down on the floor, pulling his baby blanket off from the top of his bed and wrapping it around him. He closed his eyes once more and settled, once more slipping back into pretending that this song was just for him. 

“I wish I may and I wish I might.” 

Tomorrow would be lonely. Tomorrow would be empty. If Janus managed to pull himself together, he would be met with blank walls and silent stillness that would remind him that he didn’t deserve to hold this moment as closely as he did. But that was tomorrow. And tonight, Janus was sleeping next to Patton, wrapped up in a lullaby that was sung to lull him to sleep. 

“Now goodnight, my someone goodnight.”


End file.
